“Few societies treasured dignity, and feared humiliation , as did the Japanese, for whom a loss of honor could merit suicide. This is likely one of the reasons why Japanese soldiers in World War II debased their prisoners with such zeal , seeking to take from them that which was most painful and destructive to lose. On Kwajalein, Louie and Phil learned a dark truth known to the doomed in Hitler’s death camps, the slaves of the American South, and a hundred other generations of betrayed people. Dignity is as essential to human life as water, food, and oxygen. The stubborn retention of it, even in the face of extreme physical hardship, can hold a man’s soul in his body long past the point at which the body should have surrendered it. The loss of it can carry a man off as surely as thirst, hunger, exposure, and asphyxiation, and with greater cruelty.
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Plot versus Character
You should try to use more detail. Your sentence has the potential to be chilling or make the reader grit their teeth. You could make the reader shudder or feel sick or fearful. If you just made it less basic, you could have a masterpiece sentence. Sure you attract attention, but it feels too simple. You could have the power to make an awesome sentence that pulls the reader in but makes them want to cringe and turn away. I can’t say much because I don’t even know what you’re going for or what almost sliced his finger off. I just think that, with additional information, this could be a stellar sentence. (Excuse the word choice, please. I’m exhausted, and that’s just what came to mind.) You’re on a good track with your idea though. Thank you. You actually inspired me to make a sentence I really love.